I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
