there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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