No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
