I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
