That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
