I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
