you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
