im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are the jesus of drinking
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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