My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
