Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
