i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
