yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
