If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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