I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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