somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
