wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
