I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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