i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
