"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
