So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
