the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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