She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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