I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
