her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
