Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I will be naked everywhere
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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