I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
