She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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