its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
