I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
