Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
