Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
