No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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