would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
