he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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