oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
