either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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