This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
