New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
