great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
smell my finger.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
