So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
