omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
