Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No subtext here. People are naked.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
