yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
