Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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