I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
