i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
they need to just BURY HIM!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
