i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
