After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This baby is an asshole
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
