Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
