haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
