I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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