he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
