Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
